homesick

A few people have asked me if I'm homesick . . I'm not sure what that means exactly but I usually say NO. To me, homesick means that something doesn't feel right, like you're not at home, or something is missing, or you can't get comfortable or just feel out of place. I imagine it being a dull, constant feeling that doesn't go away. I definitely don't feel that way. I feel at home, and have made a life and home for myself, even if it is only for 6 months. Maybe the fact that it is 6 months makes it more bearable, whereas if I was here for an indefinite amount of time it may be more difficult. But I'm sure when it's time for me to leave, I may feel like staying longer! Especially if the work I'm doing is successful.

Although I am not homesick, I do feel what I call "pangs of nostalgia." It's more of a sharp, sudden memory that makes me nostalgic for a certain time/place in my life. Sometimes I miss UCLA, and the smell of vanilla coffee reminds me of free coffee at Kerchoff during finals week and studying . . or the way a salad bar is set up reminds me of the dorm food and 2 hour long meals with friends. It's a sudden, very specific memory brought on by a sight, smell or sound. Seeing a bicycle reminds me of riding my bike around UCI, and getting yelled at by Matt for trying to ride with no hands. I'm sure once I'm far away from San Pedro, the sound of whistles, thunder and pouring rain will make me nostalgic for the moments that will eventually be ingrained in my memory. Even today, it didn't rain for once and something just didn't feel right!